Cycles of Abuse
I RSVP’d to “Hands and Hearts”, the annual Center For Children and Families (CCFI) fundraiser last week, before news of the Supreme Court’s potential strike down of Roe V Wade hit the national discourse with all the fervor we’re witnessing now.
It’s hard to attend an event like this today and not connect the dots between repeating cycles of abuse and trauma, trauma and mental health, mental health and substance abuse, and so on. For example, in a pre-recorded video we watched as attendees, a care provider described the process of trying to connect with a child who did not have the capacity to speak directly on lived, traumatic experiences. The care provider said the conversation opener to get children to center themselves in the stories of their own lives draws heavily upon pop culture archetypes, also why representation matters, to help connect these childrens’ strong emotions and lived experiences to an identity type that feels safer to discuss. The care provider said one particular child identified with the kind of story where the family is very large and impoverished. The exact character description was a “Ron Weasley”'-type. But because this is real life, you have to take out the magic that fiction works, where there are mountain trolls, corrupt wizards, pureblood groups, basilisks, etc, to overcome and insert a stark reality that includes: the police, social services, foster homes, preventative programs, and therapy.
Narrative is a great way to empathize with those we don’t share the same life experiences with, so much so, that at the CCFI event we were asked to imagine ourselves, eyes closed, of course, as one of these kids who is shuffled from place to place and often confronted with loud, terrifying, life-altering ordeals. We were then asked to imagine having a shattered self image and how that manifests itself in outbursts and confusion. I appreciated the trauma informed approach of this exercise. The organizers had a social worker posted in the back to talk nonjudgmentally to anyone who found themselves reliving something they didn’t expect to remember. Emotional intelligence is knowing you have people in healthcare communities and in the supporter-base who have overcome rough starts to find success, but that there are those who will always have PTSD from those life-altering experiences.
That said, I noticed some folks in the room used hushed, humorous tones at their table to try to diffuse the tension they felt with the subject matter at hand. As an aficionado of dark, absurdist, gallows type humor, I get it, really, I do. Still I find it telling behavior of a sort when considering the steep challenges confronting all of us. When places like the Center for Children and Families, arguably experts in their field, need amplification they should get it and it should be pointed out that their struggles are not isolated from the state-level or national discourse. These cycles of abuse, trauma, mental health and substance abuse do not happen in a vacuum.
Oklahoma incarcerates more women per capita than anywhere else in the nation, and in Norman we just watched a working mother go to jail for the crimes of a single man who had one task: watch over and protect the child. He failed. She paid.
“...Hogue survived domestic violence from her father growing up, and she had a service industry job when Ryder was killed.
Still She Rises, an Oklahoma nonprofit that helps indigent women, says a lack of employment opportunities contributes to women’s high incarceration rate.
Sharp, who has presented at Oklahoma legislative sessions, argues state lawmakers aren’t sufficiently educated to diligently pass laws. As a result, lawmakers pass laws that incarcerate women, she said.
To properly weigh contributing factors in cases like Rebecca’s, Sharp suggested state agencies outside the criminal justice system need to be given resources.
“Usually, in the failure to protect cases, you have a female who is being abused. If we had the manpower to go in and investigate it properly, then perhaps we could provide resources and support to help women get out of those kinds of situations,” she said…” - source: Norman Transcript, 4/13/2022
Our maternal death rate is also dismal and it should terrify those working in these healthcare fields, and those adjacent to them, as we are ultimately setting ourselves up for more trauma and death. A whole new generation of young children are being set up for failure.
“According to the CDC, Oklahoma persistently ranks among the states with the worst rates (40th) of maternal deaths in the U.S. Between 2017-2019, the Oklahoma maternal mortality rate was 23.5 maternal deaths per 100,000 live births. This is above the national average of 20.1 maternal deaths per 100,000 live births and above the Healthy People 2030 target goal of 15.7.” - source: OSDH, Maternal Mortality Review
“Oklahoma ranks among the worst states in the nation for women dying during or shortly after pregnancy, a state committee has concluded, and Black women in Oklahoma were two and a half times more likely to die than white women, according to a report issued Friday.
Delays in medical intervention and a lack of access to health care were among the biggest contributors to the state’s maternal deaths. Oklahoma is the fourth-worst state in the nation when it comes to maternal mortality, according to the inaugural report from the Oklahoma Maternal Mortality Review Committee.” - source: League of Women Voters of Oklahoma, Oklahoma Report on Maternal Deaths.
Article pictured has link embedded to full piece in image.
We also do not have great mental health care and substance abuse services. I feel like a broken record pointing out that we are saving thousands of dollars on not jailing people every year for mental health and substance abuse, but money we saved with State Questions 780 and 781 has not been distributed into counties or cities to adequately address these issues.
“...Q 780 and its companion measure, SQ 781, were designed in the justice reinvestment mold: reduce spending on prisons, and invest those savings into treatment services for things like substance abuse and mental illness. SQ 780 helped to accomplish the first goal, but the 2021 legislative session marked the third budget without a corresponding investment that voters demanded. Though the Legislature has again failed to fund the treatments that SQ 781 statutorily required, we know that justice reform has measurably reduced the prison population and that mental health remains severely underfunded. There’s no getting around the fact that sustainable progress in public safety will require a much greater investment in substance abuse and mental health services than lawmakers have shown an appetite for so far…” source: OKC Policy Org, June 25, 2021
Full Letter to Editor link embedded in image.
Anyway, I’m working on things even as I jam out this little missive, because we have a homeless crisis brewing, if we don’t find another location by Aug 31st, which is when 30-40 more people will be roaming our streets looking for shelter. I will be doing the things that need to be done to address these issues head on and I will be calling on folks I met while campaigning to join me, some have already got my text messages. Last week I began conversations with faith leaders about what might be done, because the time to act is right now.
I will end here: if you know that our children deserve better, if you want for them to grow-up as CCFI puts it, “...safe, nurtured, and loved” you better make sure your actions match your words. I did so earlier today with the message “invest in community” submitted with payment, independently of any organization also invited to this fundraiser, via CCFI’s website. Why fill out a pledge form when you can take direct action presently.
Link to website embedded in image.
